Life In 2010

Bring it on. I am all set and prepared for this year. I think it's going to be a good one.
Resolution: enjoy myself. And it's well under way. Despite the lack of sleep last night, and high alcohol consumption, I haven't felt the greatest today, but I've enjoyed it all the same.
I thought it was going to be a quiet night, until I ended up at my friend's bach with his older brother and their uncle giving me my first experience of a tequila lay back. I know at least one person won't know what that is, so, MC, that is when you lay down on a bench, have a shot of tequila poured into your mouth from each side, then swallow as you stand up. I was pleased with my effort here, as I took mine simultaneously with my friend, and I took it way better than he did.
So after that and a few other shots (which I took standing upright) I was well on the way to drunk. Friend's family love me, which is nice. Made a good start to the year.
I'm bringing good things into the new year, and hope to keep it that way. Good friends, my family, and even my guy, now officially mine.
Here's to 2010 - let's make it great.

Life In Christmas

It had to be done, didn't it? A Christmas blog post. So here we go. It's been a pleasant day, with family, and some friends. Gifts were exchanged, food was eaten, jokes were told, company was enjoyed. It's what Christmas is about to me. Spending time together, and appreciating the people around us, so overall it's been a successful day. I already had my big present, my phone, so it was just stocking fillers and my secret santa, which was great. I love what I got. The whole secret santa was so fun. I am sure doing it again next year. That's all there is to say about Christmas really. I have the evening to enjoy now, possibly watching a movie or playing a game with the olds.
Today I've also done a lot of texting. All the "merry christmas" texts this morning, but then, I've been texting my guy, all day long. Ok, ok, he's not officially mine, but it's close enough. We went driving around looking at christmas lights on wednesday night. It was fun. We ended up on the lookout at Bluff Hill, watching a cruise ship leave. We had a really nice time. I get to see him again tomorrow, yet again, going to the river. Should be fun. I look forward to it.
Merry Christmas to one and all. :)

Life In Interest

I was sorely tempted to purposefully neglect the darling blog til Christmas day, for a fair reason. This is post number 50. Happy 50th post, blog. Now, reason I am not going to coincide 50th post with Christmas day... It's been quite a weekend. On friday I finally conceded to spending some time with a particular guy who I met at a party. Since then he has been texting me, and trying to arrange to hang out. On friday, after a morning helping round the garden at home, I grabbed a friend and allowed my guy to pick us up and take us the Maraetotara falls. The water was cold, but we had fun. We then moved on to the river. The water was lovely. The company was lovely. It was fabulous. The final place to go was ocean spa, where epic water fights ensued, and much more fun was had. Half the reason I put off seeing him for so long was the fear of awkwardensss. Only having met him once, and not knowing his friends, I wasn't so sure it'd be that good. But it was that good. I got on really well with his friends. Really, the point this is coming to, is by the time friday was out I'd found a good sober opinion of this guy, and he's good. I think this could go somewhere, but I don't mind if it doesn't. I'm just utterly happy in my own little giggly world, where I am finally interested in someone who seems pretty interested in me. I've gone since the last relationship not being interested in anyone that liked me, so this feels nice. It all sounds pretty lame, I know, but I'm happy for now.
I did mention that I'd elaborate on the ACM thing, but really right now I don't want those insanely annoying thoughts cluttering my happy wee head. =]

Life In Nightly Brawls

So, I neglected the blog so much that someone took me up on it. I am sorry, ma'am. Here is the promised blog post.
Honestly, last week was very busy. Each night I had something on. Saturday party. Fair enough. It didn't shake my mood how I first hoped it would, but as the night drew on I did cheer up. Sunday there was rehearsal. Unreliable ride made us late, but none the less, we got plenty done. Monday was rehearsing again, finally on stage at the theatre. Tuesday I got all active and mum, dad and I cycled, then dad and I swam. It was good. The evening came more rehearsing. Intense rehearsing, before the first performance. It went fairly well, though could have been better, and we proved that on night two. Wednesday was a kick arse performance. Acting is always so worth it in the end. The buzz of a great performance is one of the best things.
Leaving my own performing behind, thursday night I shifted to the audience. I went to see one night only with Future Prospect. They are my school's all male choir, and they really are great performers. They mostly do comedy things with the songs they choose, such as Rubby Ducky, and It's Raining Men. I kept up the fast pace life on friday night, joining my parents at the annual christmas party their friends hold. It lived up to the expectations - too much food, old people getting merry, and a great night overall.
Saturday again, and a break from partying. A quiet night with friends, BBQing. It made a pleasant change and was a relaxing night. Mostly it was good to see a few people that I haven't seen much since school finished, particularly having a good catch up with MM.
On sunday the excessive amounts of food continued with another BBQ, as a friend who lives part time in england was back here so catching up was required. CM had already arranged to visit me that day, so he joined the crowd, got his butt kicked at pool, the usual shennanigans.
I must admit yesterday and today have been unproductive. Other exciting things to mention, must include that Christmas is fast approaching. The only shopping I've completed is for my secret santa, as that needed to be posted overseas. I still need to buy for my family, so hopefully can organise a shopping trip with a friend asap, as I only have ten days to go.
There you go, MC, an update, though rather uninteresting as my busy schedule leaves little time for deep thought, though come to think about it, I'm full of thought right now, what with ACM being so ridiculously "in love" with me and pissing me off constantly, but we'll leave that for another post, as no doubt he will keep it up.

Life In Partying

Oh, blog, how I have neglected thee. We have so much to say, but with so little worth. I'm just wondering when I can relax. I'm trying now. I want to let it all go, but so much is on my mind. School is all done with for the year, yet I'm feeling new stresses.
I took the photos. I did some earring photos, and had some fun editing them. And since then I did some photos of the first cherries we bought this season, before I ate them.
I did the exam. I felt good about it. It was the last important one, and it actually went well. At least I think I did, but results time will only tell. That's a long wait, so I'll forget it for now. Classics wasn't so bad either. I knew I was going to fail that all along, so I just had a little fun talking about Cyclops thinking Odysseus and his men were a tasty snack. Got a few jokes in. Laughed my way through one of three papers before getting swiftly out of there.
Wednesday was meant to be for relaxing, but I actually ended up going for a 20km cycle in the morning and having an active afternoon too. Although not my plan, it was good. On thursday I did as planned and went shopping with mum and then to habyt, but I also added meeting friends early in the village for a swim. I got lots of good things shopping, including a new phone. I'm sure glad to not be confusing myself over what the texts say behind that black splodge anymore.
I hardly know what I did on friday, other than texting people and cooking. Saturday I worked. All average there. It was one of my work mate's last days at work, which is kinda sad, since she was fun to work with. I escaped and took Max home with me so I could get changed and go straight back to town with him for drinks. Our quiet drinks turned into heading a couple of streets over to a party. The party was great. I was glad for the stress release. You have to let loose sometimes, right? And I feel I need that so much right now. Everything's coming at me. I'm stuck in the middle with nowhere to hide. So instead I'll run to the middle of it and show them I know how to party.
On sunday it was unbelievably hot. Well, it was believable. It was amazing. I was on top of the world, so to speak. We had our hangover kebabs and we spent the day under a sprinkler. Like dancing in the rain. Like magic. There. It's not all bad. It's good. It's great.
Monday classics, been there, done that. On tuesday I think all I did was make plans for wednesday, when I met friends, had lunch, hung around a lot, had a lot of fun, then stayed at Andrea's, with her and Kyla. We watched movies, then talked lots, then slept. On sunday morning I made us pancakes for breakfast. It was a tasty morning. We ate pancakes and played singstar. It rained. And rained. Then stopped and got hot and we had a spa. Then it rained. And rained some more. It was torrential. A curtain of water right across the hills. We watched another movie, then caught sight of the time. I went home, worn out by their hyper personalities, and did sweet nothing.
Despite being worn out by those two, I returned to their company after signing out of school on thursday. Officially not year 12 anymore. But, after sign out, the drama began. It's so complicated. All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons, and we're all going to crash and burn. But we'll do it in style. We'll do it partying, as always.
So, Kyla and I met Andrea in Haveock, then certain male (CM) met us. We got some lunch, then went to Kyla's to watch a movie. CM likes me. So does another certain male (ACM). ACM would be unhappy to know I was with CM, so I didn't tell him to start with, but had to see him that night. Between movie and seeing ACM a big thing came out. The main issue here. That I won't talk about here. ACM needs to get his act together, and I think when I saw him today I pursuaded him of that. It looks better, but I'm still stressed. So, I'm doing that smart thing again, and throwing myself into a party, where both CM and ACM will be, tomorrow night. Do it in style. Fuck it up right. Let's go.

Life In Still Images

At this very moment, I should be revising. In 2 hours and 26 minutes I will be in my economics exam. Yet, here I go again, pretending as if this blog is worth anything at all. It seems that all knowledge of economics has drained from my head. This is the exam where I should pick up merits and excellences, but right now I'm feeling for scraping a pass. I'm not one to stress about passing an exam. If I don't pass, so what. It's not going to effect me much. Maybe I'll have to pick a different subject for next year, that's about all. I'm just a bit annoyed that I'm coming up to a subject that I am good at, with no fucking clue. I can't focus. On anything, let alone economics.
I'm realising how much I've neglected hobbies of late. I haven't gotten any photoshoots done in a very long time. The previous few have been with Kyla, and she's been the one saying, "We're going here, taking this, and getting a photoshoot down." Which doesn't say much for my inspiration levels. I was pleased with our cemetary shoot, and how some of my ideas turned out, but I really need to get on with doing something of my own, and making it creative. I have ideas. I just need the motivation to go take the photos. I'm itching to do it right now, but I should also be returning to the eco books.
Other than photography I've neglected the poetry, which is in a way a good thing, since I usually turn to that when I'm an emotional wreck. The dried up run of poetry suggests I've been a bit higher on the emotional scale. Or that I just can't be creative with writing when I'm stressed.
I have many many ideas for photos now, and a long summer to take them all. I'm excited for this, and for Christmas. But not for the exam. 2 hours, 16 minutes to go. And my camera is definitely winning me over the eco books. :)

Life In Stress

On monday, I revised a little, did a little shopping, and ate strawberries.
On tuesday, I had a failure to revise, but a success in being better than Max (at pool, table tennis AND guitar hero). Then I did revise a little.
On wednesday, I forfeited plans to get up early and revise a lot as I was tired, so I had a lay in and revised a little, before going to my biology exam. After that I planned to revise for english, which I did a little, but I also discovered there's some pretty good things on TV of a wednesday.
Today, I woke up feeling exhausted at 7am. I somehow was ready for the bus by 8am, but I managed to forget my scripts for HaBYT. A little revision time with a few friends at school before the exam at 9.30am. I was tired, but somehow focused, and even think I might have done well, despite feeling slightly insane when managing to connect a poem about mechanical cranes to the meaning of life. I left the exam and had a pleasant walk. I think I needed that. A police officer stopped to ask about the exams, and reminisced a little about how they were when he was at highschool. He then wished me luck with my exams and carried on his way. I killed some amount of time before getting a bus to Hastings. Max and I killed a little time before he got a tattoo. I might get a tattoo, in a few years, so I wanted to watch it being done. I thought it might put me off, but it didn't, so who knows. In a couple of years I may have some meaningful ink on my back. The tattooist was a very interesting and nice guy who was considerably easy to talk to, so I actually enjoyed the hour and a half sitting in there. Then there was some more killing time and subway for dinner before HaBYT. Of course I wasn't favourite for forgetting my scripts but I feel justified in slipping up as this week is seemingly made of stress. I'm not sure I want to go into it so much. I've complained enough to a few people (I'm sorry, and thank you...). I do have to say though, I am quite looking forward to parents returning on saturday. I've had quite enough of keeping this rather large house clean by myself.

Life In New Shoes

My last two posts have consisted of "this isn't productive, why aren't I more insightful?" And, in all honesty, I'm still not feeling very meaningful. I feel average. Just the same as all the other teenagers who are preparing for exams. Today, I revised for biology, cell structure and function. Depending on the questions that come up, I'll either pass, or pass well, on that paper. The next couple of days will be revision for ecology, genetic variation, and animal structure function. There is nothing particularly exciting about biology, or exams, or revision. Not wanting to spend the whole day stuck at home with my good friend biology, I caught a ride into town with my brother, and met a friend. The same friend I met yesterday. Yesterday we were with another friend of ours, and today we met one of his friends who I have met a few times. Both friends said at some point, in response to something I said, "Damn, we should hang out more often." I think I agree. Despite my friend making innappropriate comments a few times, considering he is dating one of my good friends, I have enjoyed hanging about there. His innappropriate-ness brings me to shoes. Yes, shoes. We were browsing shops to pass the time, and I saw some shoes I liked. I tried them on, and they are quite fantastic, and he offered to buy them for me. Free shoes? Great! Friend's boyfriend buying me shoes? Not a chance in Hell. I told him that he can't do that, and bought them myself. Another pair of shoes I'll hardly ever get a chance to wear, but shoes make every, average, girl happy. These shoes might even make good ball shoes in year 13.
The past few days also held hints of forts with overly ginger orgies and cookie dough, a work mate becoming a dildo-testing, wine taster, living in Amsterdam and commuting to Paris, and maybe even a little strip poker. Yes, they are all interesting stories, but I'm going to continue watching Happy Feet and feeling sorry for Mumble now. :)

Life In Remembrance

It's funny the things a girl remembers. Or, is it just the things I remember? What sparked this thought was the quote I made in a previous post, a friend saying, "You're too pretty for your own good." That is a comment I don't think I'll ever forget. It meant something to me, and I'll keep that with me. There's more, silly compliments like that. Say, when a male friend of mine told me he liked the stuff, the blue stuff on my eyes. I told him that's called eyeshadow, he said, "Yeah, that stuff. Well, it looks nice." It's nice that I remember things like that. It's enough to make you smile when you've had a bad day. Anyway, enough of that crap. I remember things like a friend's shoe size, too.
Well then. It's the last day of year 12 tomorrow. Which is exciting. That means next year I am year 13. That means senior privilages, like no uniform. Which is great, and I'm looking forward to it, after a good long break. But, it's seeming a bit overshadowed. I have so many friends who are now leaving highschool for good. Going to university, or working. Compared to that, year 13 doesn't seem so exciting. Sadly friends being year 13 and them leaving means me not seeing said friends so much. Particularly MM, as he is a part of my close group. I'll miss having him around at lunchtimes. I'll miss him in general. But there's always MSN. The good old internet. In this day and age, distance barely counts for anything. It's (almost) as easy to chat with friends back home in England, and it is to chat to friends just down the road here in NZ. I feel like I'm crapping on a bit now. This is not productive.

-note, the title is nice and relevant, as it was just remembrance day in England. :)

Life In Attention

Some people say a lot of things to me which they shouldn't. For example, I was just told I am too incredibly attractive for my own good and his, by my friend's boyfriend. I won't dispute the compliment. It's his opinion, no use arguing, but I do dispute that he should tell me, or even think, that. For now I won't tell her anything, as it would only upset her and I don't think it's a lot to worry about. Just stern words to him should do it, I hope. Why is it that so many males have trouble with boundaries like that? And still wonder why girls don't trust them?
Now, it is not a particularly comfortable thing talking about myself, and not disputing the compliments I am bringing up, but what he said reminded me of something a friend said a few years ago. This friend told me I am too pretty for my own good, and in a few years I'd understand that. Of course at the time I passed it off as him being his silly, fun self. Yet, he was right. I do understand now. I get too much attention. And I say that as someone who likes attention. It is too much. I feel vain now, so moving swiftly onwards.
But moving on to what? There are surely many things I could analyse and pull apart and make worth writing about, but I somehow have nothing. I'll allow this post to die to writer's block, and try to bring something more insightful later.

Life In Chaotic Minds

So, the hair has been cut. I like the colour. I think. And I like most of the style, but not the really short layers. I really want them to magically grow at least a few inches really fast. Of course, that won't happen and of course, that isn't the end of the world. I can live with working around the stupid little layers until they do grow out, which of course, will take far longer than I'd like. Oh well though. I'll get used to it. I guess change is good. I'm not actually looking forward to the attention which I'll undoubtfully get since this haircut is not one that will have people putting on that funny "did you get your hair cut?" face. I'm a general attention whore, but less so for lots of people giving a little attention each. More for select people giving me lots of attention. I'm a picky attention whore.
Other than hair... Last night I went to a bonfire/fireworks with some friends. It was a church-held event. I was sceptical about going, since I am rather anti-church, but I figured I can deal with being around Christians, so long as they aren't all preachy. They weren't preachy, but it still got me thinking about religion again. It really is the most ridiculous thing. People dedicate there lives to something which does not exist. They waste their time praying. Maybe it makes them feel more positive about things, but you can do that without a whole story behind some imaginery figure creating the world. God is like the easter bunny, or Santa, yet somehow people don't stop believing in him just because they get old enough to work out it's not true. It would make so much more sense if when children came to the sad realisation that Santa is mum or dad they realised God is just a made up character too. Of course Christians find this idea offensive, and often say I should be more open minded. They apparently don't see how closed their own minds are. So many people would do better in life if they thought, "what's best for me, and what do I want to do?" rather than, "what does God want me to do?" Religion rant aside, I did enjoy myself last night. We played volleyball and watched other things like sumo wrestling games, there was a BBQ (of course I wasn't eating that), and then bonfire and fireworks.
I should be studying for exams now, but I don't think I will. It will be last minute study for me, as usual. The day before each exam seems like a great plan to me.

Life In Angels

I just realised I entirely skipped Halloween out of reportings in the last post, along with the 18th I was at on friday night, which is a bit of a big miss out, because both of these were great nights. I feel slightly bad for having such a good weekend, considering local events which have thrown my school into grieving, but such is life. Friday night was brilliant. It was my opportunity to let loose, get drunk and dance. I've severely cut down on those nights this year, which is good, because they are so much more fun when they turn up. A mixture of bogan metal lovers, and girly clubbing types, made for a great night. Bogans singing along to Miley Cyrus is quite a treat, as is headbanging with the metal lovers, and being the only one who seems to switch comfortably between the two personas. Club tunes saw me dancing on the benches with the girls, and metal chilling with my feet back on the ground with my ginger friend. And that bring us to the exciting news... He's not in love with me anymore. More than anything else, I am so happy for him over this. He's found what he deserves. Someone who loves him back. He's gone so long trying to figure what it is he needs to do to win me over. So long being rejected. I love him to bits, as a friend, and now I can feel more comfortable telling him that, knowing his I love you doesn't mean more. How sappy. Remind me to shoot that side of myself when I get my hands on a gun.
Halloween was again a good night. I was with my younger group of friends, so it was a drink free night, which worked out fine for me. As prepared as I was for another full on party, I was fine to settle with blisters on my feet from hours of walking round the village, dressed up as an angel. We went trick or treating under the cover of my friend's 12 year old sister, but we all loved it really. I suggested a shortcut through the reserve to get back, and this turned into a pleasant but interesting part of the walk. I was left walking with one friend, who I assisted in turning into an emo. We had a good distance between those infront and those behind us, so he took the opportunity to make a confession. He used to go to my school, and remembers me from then, although sadly I don't remember him. He told me he always wanted to ask me out back then. I was flattered, of course, but this was awkward since it wasn't long ago I was dating his brother. Thankfully he realised how that plays into it, so we didn't even have to get to the bit where I've never even remotely considered him as potential dating material.
Writing saves me once again. My head was full of complaints of the minor difficulties of my life, but now it's cleared rather so I can relax a little before I sleep.

Life In Living

I really have left this alone for a while, but I just haven't felt like writing. Then, something came up. Just today I was thinking about my darling friend, and then there he is. Turns up online on MSN. Drunk. This is my tee-total pulled together friend... drunk and spilling it all about how he's sick of everything. It's a bit of a downer that things aren't going great for him anymore, but I'm more just glad to be able to speak to him. Anyway, it could be a good thing him chatting to me when he's in a state like that. We always did connect and help each other through the harder of times. He seems disappointed in himself for falling off the no drinking wagon, but we all make mistakes. He's got nothing on a girl at my school, who killed two of her friends when drunk driving this weekend. Things like that are sad, and it makes me think, and appreciate how things are for me much more. I don't have everything I want, but at least I don't have the weight of something like that on me. Hopefully the girl will learn from it. It's a big reality check and a harsh one, but lord knows she needed one. Wrapping up my brain melt of my friend, I love him to bits so hopefully he'll get through this rough patch ok.
In other news... there's been the show, and Haumoana market day. Between which I successfully spent over $200. Whoops. I have a wonderful wrap dress now though, which I'm excited to start experimenting with. And a couple of new band shirts, a wicked scarf and pink fluffy handcuffs.
There are just two weeks left of school. Scary, since after that it's into exams. But then I just get to chill for summer. Maybe ask for extra hours at work, or find somewhere else to work some time over summer. I have a good feeling about summer right now. It will be fun. I'm thinking I'll have a few good groups of people to spend it with, between my general friends, and also the German girls, and Ashlea and Jas. We made a decent group today for the market. It was good. Also Kat coming here for summer is another bonus. I'm looking forward to her being around.
Oh well. Chats with Paulypoo time.

Life In Spotlights

It's been a long week. Very busy. Now I have a mixed feeling of achievement and failing. Achievement for an wonderful run of performances of Us and Them, and failing as I am not up to date with school work. Rehearsal monday night and performance for the rest of the week did not leave time for anything else, so tomorrow will be a huge day for catching up.
Recap! Last sunday I rushed to complete my speech in the morning so I could go and meet Max and get some time out of the house before rehearsal. He's a bit hard to bear, as he creeps me out entirely half the time. I think the worst part of the day was having to let him pay for my lunch as I was poor by that point. He did owe me though, so I guess that's ok. It was actually a nice afternoon. Louis joined us mid-afternoon, and catching up with him is generally fun. Then it was heading to rehearsal. Excellent as that meant catching up with HaBYT's wednesday cast, who I hadn't seen in a long time. After rehearsal I went back to see Louis again. Subway cookies for dinner, wipeout, and NCIS. I am pleased with my choice of returning there.
Monday called for another rehearsal straight after school. That finished earlier than expected, so I thought I had an hour to wait until the parents would be able to take me home, but their meeting ran late so I had two hours. I spent it at Louis's. Without Louis. That was relaxing, as I just chilled on the couch watching TV.
On tuesday I left school early to see Rachel about the hair modelling. She put a treatment in and my hair smelt like coconut for days. Yum. And of course, tuesday was opening night. It was a really small audience, but the small audience included a reviewer, who gave us a fantastic review. As the shows went on energy in them changed, and each night was a bit different. Fittingly final night was the best. The casts were excited and it all went off amazingly. All of my friends, family and associates that watched throughout the week gave great feedback. They all loved the show. The most nerve wracking audience member was Dan, but his comments were a relief, as he loved it.
After the final performance we after-partied. I now have sore legs from doing the twist and breakdancing, but it was all worth it. There were a few sad farewells for members that won't be returning, but it was a good night. Being up til 1am when I had work today maybe wasn't that good, but it was worth it.
In other exciting news, my BDO ticket and accomodation is booked. All that is left is transport, which won't be booked for another month. Definitely looking forward to that, along with all the other things happening in the holidays. =]

Sometimes people are so wrong it is not funny. To the extent I feel slightly ill at the thought of what they considered. I got wind of a bet which I don't like the sound of. I can't be too pissed because I have a bet of the same nature. But really... so, so wrong. Of course those concerned will be spoken to, because Lara feels bloody disgusted at the thought that's been brought up. Yuck.
That aside... yesterday... I did nothing most of the day, then headed to rehearsal for Us and Them. I think overall the shows will be ok, but a little worried about how on to it some of our cast are. Today was a bit more eventful, but still haven't a lot to say. Work was going as usual, taking the piss out of each other... until the supervisor got a call about his dad. He'd gone into hospital, so supervisor left and we were down to three staff members, which was ok. We only had a short spell that was really too busy for three of us. Also today I basically gave up my hair to someone. She needs a model for her final on her course, and I agreed to it. I think a drastic change is in store for my hair. Slightly scared about this, but hopefully I will like it.

Life In Affection

About a week since I last posted. A little slack, but it's not entirely just because I couldn't be bothered, I have been doing a lot. Last friday I had a HaBYT rehearsal from 10-1, then I met Charlotte to shop in Hastings, which was good fun. I gained a Metallica shirt and ski pants and zebra underwear, which is fantastic. After shopping Nick picked us up, and I got dropped at Kyla's. After a while there Max joined us. Conversation was amusing and dodgy, with Donna as well. I left and they watched Buffy until about 5am, which I definitely don't mind having missed. I worked saturday and I worked sunday so those were pretty mundane days. On monday however I went to Legal Tender, and it was rather fantastic. The downside was the barrier preventing under 18s getting to the mosh pit. We were able to go mosh for the final song of the night though, so I moshed hard for that. It was quite nice to catch up with Louis, but he's a whole other story. That night I gained an Airbourne shirt, which I love. Tuesday I spent the morning home, then had to go to the dentist. My teeth are in good order, it's ok! Then Bella, Gabby and Nicole came over and we watched Napoleon Dynamite and Jumanji. Wednesday I made it five movies in two days. I went to see Louis for a proper catch up and we watched G-Force, The Hangover and The Boat That Rocked. I had a nice afternoon, really. But that does bring us to the Louis story. He really does seem to be in love with me. And it wouldn't be a problem if I felt the same. He's a great guy. I know he'd treat me well. He's not likely to cheat. The only problem is the attraction thing. If I don't like the thought of them taking their clothes off, it blatently won't work. And it's not me that wouldn't be able to keep my clothes on, he has enough trouble with that even though I keep turning him down. I love him as a friend, I just hope he can deal with that or I might have to lose him as a friend to avoid hurting him, and I don't want to do that.
Anyway, today has been a bit of a bum day. Just been internetting, playing GH, etc. And now I'll continue internetting til I pass out. I really should hit an early night, but I know it won't happen.

Life In Chocolate Cake

I had chocolate birthday cake for breakfast. No regrets there. Last night was Georgia's birthday party. It was really good fun. We played laser tag and then had dinner out. We met a cute little dog at the restaurant. She was an oldish jack russel named Pepper. After that we went back to Georgia's for cake and far too much sugar and skyped her boyfriend who lives in Aus. He found us funny, but it confused him because people kept yelling at the mic and he couldn't really hear us. We may have scared him too, considering I warned him that he has now met every girl that will be beating the crap out of him if he hurts Georgia. After that we watched an hour of chicago until the disc froze, then watched Moulin Rouge and 10 Things I Hate About You. All fantastic movies, so I say night well spent. We then drifted towards beds, and stayed up talking for hours. I was apparently first asleep, and I was up until sometime around 4.30/5am. We then woke up at around 9/9.30 so it's no wonder I am now very tired and have not done a lot all day.
Before Georgia's there was the dreaded catch up with Max. But, it was actually ok. He was well behaved and we had quite a nice afternoon.
Monday was good too. Swim and cycle with mum and dad in Napier, which was nice. I am so fit and healthy. Other than that cake for breakfast thing this morning. =]

Life In Death

I'm sick of seeing things die. I hate it. Last week, although mum tried to avoid it, we hit a pukeko on the way to work. It was horrible. Then today on the way back from the gardens we went walking at a small yellow bird hit into the windscreen. No one seemed too bothered by it. But of course I was. I can't stand seeing things die. I hate how little people care when animals die like that. It reminded me of the time a cliff slid, destroying most of someone's sheep farm. On the news report they said, "But the good news is, no one was hurt." This was right after them reporting that some huge number of sheep had been lost... All those people would care about would be the money they lost on the farm, because the sheep died before they could kill them for food. This is definitely why I hate people. So many people are so selfish and inconsiderate to anyone else, or any of the other creatures on the planet.
Anyway, rant over. It was a quite good day, really. The gardens really were pretty and I got some gorgeous photos. However, staying for wine at my parent's friend's house for three hours after we came back from walking was about two hours too long for my liking.
Tomorrow plans are cycling with my parents because that means I get to have a swim at ocean spa which I really do fancy. After that mum and I are going into hastings. I need to buy a birthday present, and she wants some things too. Hopefully that shall all be enjoyable. Now I'm going to work on edits of some of todays photos. =]

Life In Kilts

Life in kilts is no more! Last school term in winter uniform is over, and term went out with a bang! This was because the bus ran over a football, but anyway, it was not a bad day. We did plenty of nothing in my classes. From playing neopets to eco bingo and drama games, it was not a bad day at all. I now have a pleasant two weeks of social plans to commense. I have lots of plans, including just hanging out, shopping, some drama rehearsals, and probably more plans to come. It should be good, despite also needing to get some homework done over the two weeks.
This week wasn't too bad. Most of it was just getting through the final week of school. Also went to a fashion show. Initially to see MM playing with After Dark, but turned out the show was quite good. Just made me more interested in heading to do some shopping these holidays. =D
Other than that it's been uneventful, so off to making sure I'm not double booking any days coming up.

Life In Vicky being lame.

Vicky says, "Shut up."
But I am keeping up appearances, making sure my blog is just as up to date as hers. We are both in classics, on computers next to each other, and furiously typing these blog entries instead of doing the research we are supposed to on Pompeiian houses. We are so gonna pass this one, right, Vicky? "I'm going to do it! I'm a good girl." she says. But I don't believe her. =P
As long as it doesn't involve 1000 words essays, sure, I'll do it too. And it doesn't, so I will! Brochure here I come.
This is a bit waffley. Let me tell you all about friday night. An old friend got online at around 12:20am, when I was about to get me to sleep. He conned me into 3.30am, and I had to get up for work at 8am. As he kept insisting, though, he's l'oreal. Shampoo slogan, "because you're worth it." get it? Good. It was worth it, too. We used to be very close so it was amazing to catch up. Inform each other we still care and still find our old jokes funny. Get back in your pokeball, Paul. GO ON. NO PAUL. Ok, I'll stop before I cause too much confusion.
It probably looks like we are working really hard, we are typing so much. So, on to another exciting update: I'm wearing frog earrings! That one just excited Vicky. I am more excited about the dress in the shop window across the road from my work. After 8 hours with it in my sight I have decided I'm going to go and try it on. I probably can't afford it, but I have to see it on. Despite one male friend informing me it won't fit because my boobs are too small and my bum's too big, two other male friends insisted that I'll look fantastic in it and the other friend is a jerk. I even have an offer on him having his arse kicked, but I cause him enough pain just by being me and not liking him, so we'll leave him be.
I don't think I have much more news to be giving, so I'll now pretend to do classics in some other way.

Life In Laughs

I'm currently smiling and laughing over some banter with MM, and posting this because he said, "get onto it Lara!" So, getting onto it I am. No more slack ignoring my blog. Here I am.
Well, updates since my birthday. Monday I went to school, and not a lot went on. Tuesday and wednesday I was skiing. I had a fantastic time, getting through the two days with just one fall, and boy did I fall in style. My ribs were sore and bruised for a few days, but it was all worth it. Heading back to school on thursday was a bit of a bugger. I wasn't fancying finding out how much revision I'd missed out on in classes. However seeing MM and MC was good, as we spent most of our time in fits of laughter with people giving us funny looks as they didn't know at that stage. Friday again was laughs and the such. I got told to stop bullying MM by my eco teacher as I was chasing him around the quad tickling him. I do not see the problem with this. It is most entertaining.
Saturday I got to catch up with the workmates, which was a laugh as always. Sunday I intended to get studying, but really didn't get so far with that. On monday it was into exams. Classics and drama down. Classics was spent with MC throwing origami fortune tellers at me. I filled the big one out, including the fact that Kyla will kill her today, as we were telling her about MM+MC after the drama exam. Drama exam was spent with me hissing at MC to focus, and teasing her making throat slitting and hanging motions. However, when we actually went to tell Kyla and MC finally spat it out, it was no violence to be seen. It went so well! Just keeping a wide eye for any emo poems now.
Today I got to lay in before my afternoon exam for enterprise. This was pretty easy, no stress. But my evening should have been spent revising for english and biology. I've done a fair bit for english, but I see a fail coming on for biology. Oh dear, Lara. Oh dear. Three down, three to go. I am looking forward to this being over.

Life In Grinning

So, I think I'm in MC's boat right now. Almost too happy for words! But I will try.
Firstly, I am as happy as she is about her and MM. I knew before she did, but had to bite my tongue so I didn't ruin the surprise, which MM was looking forward to. The biting paid off, as they are now both so happy and I am happy that they are. Particularly MM, because I haven't seen him this happy in a long while.
Secondly, my birthday was fantastic. I got fabulous gifts from everyone, then spent a wonderful afternoon with them all. And I won my long-owed game of pool against MM. I must talk about his prestent, because it is really stunning. He gave me a beautiful necklace, which I love. It is fantastic. I think he topped the present scale, although all the rest are wonderful too and I love them.
I also spent a good amount of time this evening chasing MM around my drive way and lawn, tickling him until he could take no more. This amused me a lot. Along with the foam swords and nerf guns. Although Kyla being around these things didn't go so well.
Overall it's been a great day, and now I will continue the routine of talking to MM until far too late so I can barely function in the morning.
Day well spent.

Life In Turning Seventeen

Just turned seventeen, according to official documentation. There is a while to go 'til I was officially brought into the world, seventeen years ago. That was 3:25pm, UK time. Medals to MM, Martin and Beau, who managed to be 1st, 2nd and 3rd with birthday wishes. Staying up this late apparently is worth it with friends like these. xD
I am very much looking forward to the rest of my day. Soon I'll catch some sleep, then get up and chill out until I decide it's about time I should pick up MC and get the afternoon of hanging out with friends underway. It should be fun! I really will be spending the day with the best friends ever. I love them all. And will hopefully kick all of their arses at pool. Woohoo. :D :D :D

Life In Mysteries

So, nearly another week has passed. This has been an interesting one. I've done more being depressed over the break up, but overall it wasn't so bad. I'm more to the point now that I'm just angry because he's not really talking to me, and I want to go back to being friends. None of it seems to be happening the right way between us. I won't let that bother me too much, though. His loss is greater than mine. Not to be up myself, but yes, I do see myself as better than him.
I think some of my most interesting moments this week have been down to MM. As a rule, when we get talking, it's good, but this week we hit new levels. I'll just say last night's conversation got quite awkward at one point, as pickles and dragons were discussed, but overall the conversation was fantastic. It also led to some funny moments at lunch time today. It was a select group, situated in a music room, and we had a great time. MM and I laughed a lot about a few things relating to last night, then got to be even more amused by the lost looks on our companions faces. Good times.
I enjoy the MM and MC thing going on. I think these names are fantastic for them. Even if they do know who each other is now. I'm still amused.
In classics today MC and I discussed colouring books. I stated that I would tell the next person that asked me what I wanted for my birthday that I want a colouring book. Come interval I was asked what I want for my birthday. She is getting me a colouring book. MLIA. MLIG.
Now, I am getting genuinely excited for my birthday. I am hoping sunday will be fun. I think it will be, since I'll just be hanging out with good mates. Hopefully MM joins us, he definitely owes me a game of pool. I am going to have to do a supermarket run tomorrow. Popcorn and M&Ms are looking like a good idea. I am also looking forward to what my friends have come up with on the gift front, since I am getting a colouring book, and a couple of friends seem quite pleased with their present efforts. Curious as to what they've got!
The last important thing I thought I should mention is I made cookies, various star and heart shapes, with pink icing. It's why we love the dark side. =]

Life In Highs and Lows

The week that has passed... well. Plenty happened. It was from pain to more pain. My fears all came true on sunday night. As much as I had been telling myself that he wouldn't cheat and the fear was empty, I was so so wrong. Everything fell apart as he broke up with me and I proceeded to take an hour to myself, to cry my way through an entire box of tissues. Nothing seemed good that night. I was devestated. I was shocked. I still am. I don't trust people easily, and I thought that he'd be a good person to test my trust on. I don't want to never trust anyone, so I let myself trust him, and I was just harshly reminded of why I don't trust people. Being betrayed hurts so much.
On monday people gradually found out. A few by saying things like how his little brother has his smile, without realising we'd broken up, then awkwardly being told by someone else standing with us what happened. It wasn't what they said that hurt, though. It was looking at his little brother, and seeing his smile there, because it is true. They share a smile. His brother is just as angry at him as I am, though. I am sure I'd have spent this week crying in my room if my friends weren't so great. Plenty of them have let him know how angry they are about what a jerk he was, and they've all been around to keep my spirits up. Even people I'm not very close to have been leaving me messages making sure I'm alright. Yesterday I went shopping, which really helped. Nothing like a bit of retail therapy, especially with Charlotte as a shopping buddy. Yesterday evening I managed to get myself really happy. Things like break ups make you appreciate your friends more, and I guess I was happy mine came through so well when it mattered.
Today I had work, and I actually looked forward to it as I knew that another good friend would be there to keep my spirits up. My work mates really are awesome. See, Scott and I usually spend our days making your face jokes about each other and various people's mums... So, I got round to letting my work mates know about the break up, and they were suitabley sympathetic. A while after I told them Scott said, "You know what's awful?" I made the stock answer, "Your face?" he ignored my joke and said, "No. Your ex." he was obviously thinking about how shit what happened was. That made me happy. It's good to know you're not alone.
I was meant to go to ocean spa tonight, and until today I wasn't look forward to it, but today I got to be really looking forward to it. Then I texted to check we were still going and my ride was still good.. yes, it was still on, but no, I couldn't get the ride they said I could. So, I am not about to make my parents go all the way to napier for me again and I am spending the evening home instead, trying to not feel like I'm missing out. That knocked me down again, though. Yesterday I was told that yes I had a ride. This is after being convinced I wanted to go, because it was meant to be a "couples" kinda night, planned before the stupid break up. I wasn't so keen on going as a single, but I was persuaded. My friend really wanted me there, so she said, but she can't have been that bothered since she apparently can't give me the ride which she said she could yesterday. I feel pretty shit again. I know it's stupid. One night's plans falling through doesn't change the fact of how awesome my friends are or anything... but I just can't seem to shift my bad mood. It's really awful. I feel alone, though I know I'm not. I don't like a lot of what has happened lately. I hope things will look up soon. I feel like I'm babbling, so I'll stop, and continue on an evening of feeling sorry for myself, because I don't feel like doing much else anymore.

Life In Pain

From scraped knees, to loss of life, to not getting a text from someone all day, or a spoiled lemon meringue pie, we have all been affected by pain. We experience pain, we watch pain as it happens to others, and share the pain of those we care about. Everyday, pain is in our lives. It is of course balanced by many good things, and accompanied by other bad things. I don't want to seem too negative, but the topic of this post essentially is pain, and a bit of disappointment, and despair.
It's been a week since I posted, so I'm going to think over the pain of the week that has passed.
When I last posted I was in a huge amount of emotional pain. I broke down over everything. Over the weekend things got a little brighter. I worked on saturday, then went to Connor's house. He has the most amazing house, which happens to have a climbing wall, fireman pole and slide in the front room. We had some great fun pole dancing. I insist, it is not slutty. It is fantastic exercise. The next day I felt the pain from this workout in my shoulders, as I worked again. After work Kyla and I went to see Abe. He spent most of the time sleeping, but that wasn't so bad. He's cute when he's asleep, and can't say anything offensive.
Monday was uneventful. Tuesday saw me being directed around for a photoshoot, as I agreed to model for Kyla's photography coursework.
Wednesday marked a month of my relationship with Abe, and me being hurt again. I feel like I may be overreacting, but he didn't seem very willing to be texting me, and when I texted to see if he would be able to keep me company in the few hours I had free he just didn't reply. I don't mind being told no, he's busy. I do mind being ignored. So, I spent that time at home reading instead, feeling pretty rejected. Then I went out to support Tiho, going to the fundraising concert at school. It was a great evening seeing the teachers, and students play. They're all so talented. I left with my spirits raised, feeling good and inspired.
However, Thursday was to leave me down again. Hadn't seen Abe since monday, which wouldn't have bothered me if he hadn't seemed so distant texting me. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Thankfully we arranged to meet in the small space between me finishing school and him starting work on friday.
I didn't have the best day on friday. Through school my classes were either uneventful, or in the case of enterprise stressful, and biology sickening. I was in such a foul mood at lunchtime I didn't really want to be around people, so just buried myself in a book with my ipod to block some of the noise. Leaving school I was thankful to meet someone I could happily walk with. After worm dissection, which I don't even want to get started on my opinion of, I felt so damn awful, but still knew my day would get worse. As we walked we didn't need to talk, the company was enough, but we chatted anyway. We had a really interesting discussion, and he walked all the way to the village with me. Unless he was working he went out of his way, which was nice. As I felt, it did get worse. I got a text to say that my ent partner had screwed up again. No surpirses there. Another problem which I would have to fix, and did, after seeing Abe was done with. I got to Abe's feeling slightly awkward. After the tension all week I didn't know what to expect. He didn't say anything though. He just hugged me, and we chatted about general things. Then he managed to upset me. I was really hurt by something he said, although he certainly didn't mean to hurt me. That was apologised for and forgiven, but there's still the other issue. I'm sure something isn't right, and I'm worried it is something to do with me. I wish he'd talk to me, but as it is I haven't heard from him all day. There is a certain pain to not getting a text all day, when that one text would make all the difference.
Another pain I felt today came from the pain of another. My parents went to dinner at a friend's house, and their contribution was to be desert. Mum made bread and butter pudding and lemon meringue pie. The pie took her a long time and turned out wonderfully, but then as she sat it down after removing it from the oven, the glove slipped, and a section of the crust was pushed back. I certainly know the awful feeling that comes from ruined baking after having spent so long on it, and this really was one of those moments. Mum looked shattered. Really, the pie was still intact, and everyone would enjoy it just the same, but she was clearly upset. I hurt for her. It seems like a trivial thing... but hey, the little things matter most.

Life In Losses

What do you do when it feels like nothing is alright? Apparently tonight what I do is break down and cry. I haven't really done that lately. I'm more likely to hit something and get over it, or run it out. But tonight none of that was going to work. My iPod and crying seemed to be the way.
I was arguing with my dad, and I walked out, because I can't stand it. I hate it. It doesn't matter what we argue about. Whatever I say I just get shot down. He doesn't really take in what I say, he just has to find a way to come back at me and make me "wrong." Tonight this started over me telling my brother to not call my undercooked brownie the "burn victim." I don't really appreciate my cooking being insulted, especially when it's in such a stupid way. But this led to me being told to be more tolerant of my brother, because he's not having it easy right now. WTF. My brother is a horrible, lazy person. He does nothing. He just stays at home all day, everyday. He doesn't help round the house. I spend most days at school, another day at work, and have one free day a week. I still manage to help round the house, not that anyone notices. But he's the one having a hard time. All I have lately is stress. But they're worried he's depressed and are telling me to go easy on him. I want to give up. I don't want all the stress anymore. I want to do the things I want to do, instead of worrying about school and other things all the time. It doesn't seem my parents realise how on edge I am, though. Apparently they are far more concerned about my brother, who most days doesn't get up in the morning. Things keep going wrong and I feel like there's nothing I can do. I can't believe the things I just heard from my parents' mouths. I got told not to slag him off, seconds after he was slagging me off and I asked him not to. Why does it feel like you can never win? Dad doesn't seem to think about what he says to me when we argue. He shoots right for where he knows it will hurt. Nice... coming from someone who is meant to always support me.

Life In Asian

We have three Japanese students staying with us. Three of a group of eleven who we have had lots of fun with so far. They leave on wednesday. The house is going to seem so quiet and empty. I've not really had the energy for writing, with so much going on, so here goes a recap.
Thursday 30th July. Went to school. Went to drama. Went to work to have coffee and a chat with Scott. Went to Abe's mother's house for dinner. Went to Abe's dad's house. Watched a movie. Had drinks and played Quelf. Went home, sent Abe off to the pubs to continue celebrating his birthday.
Friday 31st July. Went to school. That's about all I remember doing that day.
Saturday 1st August. Went to work. Short staffed and busy. Great fun.
Sunday 2nd August. Japanese group arrive.
Monday 3rd August. Go to school and discover the wonder of adding "if you know what I mean" to everything. Evening to self. Watch Marley and Me. Cry. Bake a birthday cake whilst crying. Abe turns up. Watch Marley and Me again. Don't cry so much this time. Bake another cake as the first one fell apart. It was "one of those nights."
Tuesday 4th August. School. Connor's birthday. Ate the cake. BBQ with Japanese group. Abe joined us. House stunk of meat. Abe stunk of meat. No kisses there.
Wednesday 5th August. Wake up feeling ill. More productive day at home than I would have had at school. Good stress break.
Thursday 6th August. Skip school to go rock climbing with Japanese group. Half way up the wall thinking, "why did I skip school to do something that terrifies me?" I still hate heights. After lunch joined Abe. Watched a movie with him and Jack. Jack can't be left out, he stayed right by us all afternoon. Went home and Abe went to work. Played guitar hero.
Friday 7th August. Went to school. Argued with enterprise group. Gave in to enterprise group and made a trip to Hastings. Most productive part of trip is me getting coffee. Had dinner at pub, by which time a pub was a good place to be. Had well needed drink.
Saturday 8th August. Went to work. Went to the printer's. Made 100 books. Went to Abe's. Got proposed to on the way. Dressed up as a prostitute and went to a party. Got very drunk. Party got shut down. Went back to Abe's. Slept.
Sunday 9th August. Woke up feeling shit. Slept a bit more. Woke up feeling pretty good. Went to work for coffee and food. Met friends. Had smoothies. Went through car wash. Went home. Had a shower. Smelt nice. Had a business meeting. Good news: $1000 donation into project. Went home. Ate. Went to planetarium. Came home. Had a fight with a duvet. Typed.

Life In Individuality

This actually happened a week or two ago, just before I lost that single status, infact. I had a real empowered kind of feeling. I feel like an echo of Vicky. A very slow echo, though. I had a strong feeling of not needing anyone, like I could do anything if I put my mind to it. If I really wanted it. Of course, then I took on a relationship. I have someone there to lean on, which is good, because that great individual strength feeling left fairly fast. Of course, I still feel I can do the things I really want. I just lost the part where I can do it alone. I want friends, family and the boyfriend around to help.
So. The boyfriend. Still going well, I guess. I have my fears, as usual. I don't trust people, which is a bit of a bitch when your boyfriend works in a bar, goes drinking after work, and has lots of friends that are girls. That means I am working really hard to not become all possessive and feel like I'm keeping a check on him all the time. I've had to make myself stop a few times, breathe and tell myself it's ok, and he wouldn't do that. He's too scared he'll hurt me to do that, but I'm too scared of being hurt to just forget my fears. I'm doing a good job though. This is the first time I've voiced them, just to get my thoughts clear. Right now, I'm really not so worried.
I just emailed my ex-best friend. It was an on impulse email. Just like the one I emailed an old good friend last week. I just need to update on a few things, which I guess is why I wanted to let those people that meant a lot to me what I'm doing these days. I sort of hope the one I emailed tonight will take up chatting with me again. He hasn't yet gotten over how angry I got at him for something he did a while back, but that's in the past, and I'd like it if we could move on.
Now, I better wrap the boyfriend's birthday present, because I sure won't have time to in the morning.

Life In Relationships

I seem to have suddenly found myself in a relationship. In the very early hours of sunday morning I was asked out, by late that night I told him yes, and it's been going smoothly since then. I was at a place with myself where I was enjoying single life and the feeling of freedom, but after a lot of thinking I decided that was not worth missing an opportunity like this for. It was no good reason to turn down a fantastic guy. A lot of my decision was based on some advice a friend gave me when we discussed what was going on between this guy and I previously. The whole thing's been going a while, a few people have said "it's about time" when they've heard the news. Anyway, the friend's advice was good and I think worth listening to. I was surprised when this particular person said, "do you want to talk about it." when I mentioned confusion. He's not the talkative type, but he was brilliant. I couldn't have asked for better advice.
When I said yes I have to admit I was still unsure, and felt I was leaping into the unknown and may pull the safety line and climb back out at any minute. That didn't happen at all. Three days in and I am absolutely happy in my decision. I'm happy with how things are now. My guy is fantastic. We took a lot of fussing around and confusion getting there, but now we are together I'm sure we're both happy we are. Of course now I feel like a total sap writing all that happy together stuff, but I am truly in a good mood.
Now I have things to do so a certain person will not kill me tomorrow for forgetting to bring him things for a third day running. I am going to gather DVDs to loan right now!

Life In Walton's World

It's been a long week. I had a fantastic lay in this morning, so I finally feel like typing up my daily blogging which I kept in a notebook in Sydney. It was a good week, but exhausting. Here it is. =]

Life In Firsts
Some people are too nice. Today has been long and fantastic. Getting up in excitement at 7am really was just the start of it. The Napier to Auckland flight was just one of many firsts today. My first ever domestic flight. I was seated in an exit row, next to Mrs. C. She swapped seats with Vicky. We then had a wait at Auckland. We boarded our Auckland to Sydney flight, and I was seated in an exit row, next to Mrs. C. She swapped seats with Steph. Food came around, but of course Mr. W. had not thought to specify we needed one vegetarian and one gluten free meal in our group, so I passed on eating. Then Steph insisted I take her ice cream. Just too nice, but she did end up getting ice cream as someone didn't want their own.
Landing in Sydney we hit another first. My first time overseas without family. We went through customs surprisingly fast. Finding transport to the hotel was a bit of a fiasco, but we made it. Then there was #1. He was very attractive. Yes, just for fun, we are keeping count of the good looking guys we see. We are up to #7. #1 and #7 are top so far.
Also in today was the first theatre trip of the week. We saw Savage River. It was in a small, intimate theatre, and it was absolutely amazing. Setting a high standard for the rest of the week.

Life In Sore Feet
My feet ache. Wearing high heels all day wasn't such a bad idea. Walking maybe 20km in them was the bad idea. But hey, what's some sore feet in exchange for another great day? It has to be said, Sydney Opera House is amazing. This morning we took the "essential tour." The whole building is amazing. We heard part of a rehearsal of an orchestra in the concert hall. It has fantastic purple seats, and the sound was amazing. The fantastic coloured seats continue throughout the theatres. Pink in the drama theatre, and orange for the opera theatre, if I remember rightly. We returned to these orange seats in the evening for the opening night performance of Aida. It was a very high-tech and stunning show, but we were all very tired so getting back to the hotel was a relief.
Between these opera house trips we went to the outlet stores. This wasn't so impressive. We had lunch, which was good. Then shopped, not so good. The place was being renovated so there wasn't much around. We went back to George St. and shopped our way back to the hotel. I'm very keen to buy new converse but they would set me back AUS$90 and I'm not sure I want to splash out that much.

Life In A Minor Key
So far today we have had tours of AFTRS and Fox Studios, and shopped. AFTRS (Australian Film, Television and Radio School) was really interesting. Of course, the behind-the-scenes film world is not my calling, but AFTRS looks like it would be great fun, if that's what you want to study. After that tour we spent a long time walking around trying to find the entrance to Fox. When we were finally in it was pretty cool to see the spaces where films such as the Matrix and Moulin Rouge were filmed and where sets like the elephant had been.
Shopping was a little more successful today, although I didn't buy much, and no clothes. I bought Bodyshop things, chocolate for mum, and some Aussie souvenier things. I got Abe's stuffed toy - a platypus. I still want more, so hopefully Paddy's market will give me some good buys.
Tonight we have another show, but for now there is time to kill relaxing before we get ready for that.
Turns out we were seeing a musical called Poor Boy and turns out it was fantastic. I absolutely loved the show. The songs were beautiful, and some of the actors had great voices. The set was a fantastic design, and well used. The whole thing was brilliant, with a strange but interesting story. Top recommendation for that performance.

Life In Not Knowing
hWe just came back from the final play of our trip, The City. And not knowing... I just don't know what to think about it. I'm too tired for it. The play was modern, and strange, as modern things are. I'm starting to grasp the concept, but it sure was strange.
KAll the plays the week have been fantastic. The whole week has been good. I'm tired now, so not really up for the blogging. Perhaps I'll be more capable when I type this up tomorrow or on Saturday.

So, that was most of the week. Then friday... another long day. It was made up of flying and everyone being so insanely tired that playing with Pokemon/beyblade things in the airport was very amusing. As much as we were having fun on the trip, I think we all needed the break getting home meant. Of course, I had an extra day of exhaustion to go before I could rest. I had to work yesterday, and it was a bit shitty. I was almost falling asleep all day. Luckily it was quiet, so I was able to leave at 3pm and then spend time with Abe until he had work at 8pm. Had a fun time hanging out, and he was very pleased with his platypus. The platypus I figure is now nearly back in Auckland, as he is with Abe, and Abe is spending a week up there to do some work for his mum.
Today is definitely a day for relaxation. Time for lunch. =]

Life In The Love of Friends

I figured as we fly to Sydney tomorrow and I may not get a post until Friday or Saturday I best leave a farewell blog.
I last posted Wednesday, so, what's gone on since? It seems like a fair bit, although it's not really. Mostly enjoyable though. On Thursday there was school as usual, then something that is becoming a tradition. A walk into the village with Kyla and Beau. The past few weeks this has happened, and we usually make a few stops around the village. Shops or cafe. This week it was a chips and ice cream kind of day. Chips and ice cream to be eaten by the monument, right in the middle of the village. Then I had to get myself off to HaBYT. I had to shoot two fairly small parts, so the rest of the evening was spent hanging with everyone, mainly Kurt and Liz, trying to be quiet so no noise would pick up on the camera in the next room. This was immense fun. We shared iPods and sweets and had some good conversation.
Friday was the final day of term 2. This meant the school was partially empty, but those that did bother turning up were in good spirits. I needed to purchase a wall charger for my iPod, so I can survive next week, so after school went into town. I got the charger, and some new tights. I really don't need more tights, but I shan't let that stop me. Once home I spent a productive evening getting most of my packing done. I've been quite successful in leaving lots of room to shop in Sydney.
On Saturday it was work as usual. I had a pretty good day. We were busy, which kept the energy up, and I was excited for Sydney so everything seemed good. After work I just went home for the evening. I did a little more packing, but that's about all.
Today was very mixed. It was fantastic, with one bad factor, but that was a fair sized factor. This morning I went to Kyla's to meet up with her and Katie. This is fantastic. I haven't seen Katie since the end of last year and had a great time catching up with her. However, there was drama thrown in, by Kyla's family troubles. She got picked up and taken home. Grounded. Then as we wanted to continue with the day's plans, out she snuck. Maybe not the best idea, and sure there will be consequences... but we had so much fun. Whilst Kyla was home Katie and I had bought the supplies. Ice cream, V, pretzels, M&Ms, donuts. I will tell you now, ice cream and donuts and AMAZING together. We sat eating this great combination as we decided what should be the next step. We needed a friend with a car, and we are all very grateful to Uta, as he was just the right friend. He picked us up and we took a random drive before parking for a short while at the river. He then needed to get somewhere, so we were dropped at Katie's. We spent time there with her gorgeous cat, Pusspuss. Her mother then wanted the house in peace, so Kyla and I came back to my house. Later on Abe joined us here, which I was very thankful for when Kyla received a text which made her burst into tears. His support was well appreciated then. Of course, sadly, they had to leave, as my flight leaves reasonably early. I should actually be sleeping right now, so I'm going to make one final check of my luggage and then retire. I am very excited. I shall report back when I return to this land, of the long white cloud.

Life In The Game

Yes, I just lost the game, and I apologise, because now you have lost the game too. This week I have lost the game everyday, and I am now at a point where a friend/aquaintance of mine doesn't even have to say anything to me, I just lose the game as soon as I see him. Each day this week, upon seeing me, he would say, "Hey, Lara... you just lost the game." Frustrating, slightly... something to blog about? Not really. It's not like I've done anything exciting... no wrestling crocs type action. I really must agree with Vicky on the latest blogging. I must also say I like her new focus. It's a bit of a coincidence really, just a couple of days ago I was thinking about things I've learnt. Looks like I'm not the only one. Today I learnt that there won't always be someone there making sure you get things done. With some things you just have to drive yourself. Of course I knew that before, it just really kicked in today.
In one week we will be half way through our Sydney trip. I'm getting quite excited. I haven't left NZ since I got here way back in August 2006, so it will be nice to get a change of air again. And Aussie air is just fantastic for that. I am realyl planning a big shop, but slightly worried about suitcase space. I shall definitely have to be packing early, perhaps starting tomorrow, to make sure I'm going to have everything I need to take with room to bring more back.
This week another thing has happened, which possibly interests no one but myself and one other. My friend who had been avoiding us has begun to join us at lunch times again. I'm not exactly sure why, or what brought about the decision to come back, but I like it. I really hope it lasts, because now I'm adjusting to him being around again it will only hurt if he leaves again, and I don't need any more hurt. Today I was told my crush, who has liked me for a long time, has a crush on somebody else. I always knew he's a flirt, but that's all harmless. It makes things a bit more confusing to hear he actually likes someone else, though. Where does it leave us? I couldn't bear to be feeling second best, or just not good enough, if I were to let myself keep getting closer to him... but it's going to be hard to pull away again. I suppose I should go for communication and tell him what I've heard, but what's to say he won't lie. I've been lied to plenty before. I'm not ready to be hurt again, but I think it's too late. I am definitely reinforcing the fact that I do NOT trust people.

Life In Thoughts

This weekend has been a really mixed bag for me. It's helped me think about some things, and get things into perspective, but left me a little dazed and disappointed.
Work was good. I really love my work mates. They keep life lighthearted, most of the time. They help me to have a laugh. I'm going to miss them when we move on to working in different places. But of course it's something I'll make the most of whilst I have it.
Then Saturday night, I did something I haven't done in a while. And I don't think I'm so happy about it. The way people act... it's kinda hard to take it. It hit me hard, and I don't think I'll be repeating that again any time soon. I must say it was a nice solid reminder of what I've left behind, and how much better my life is now. I didn't enjoy that night very much at all.
Today I was in a great rush to return to the comforts of spending time with Kyla and Abe. Once I was finally at Abe's with the two of them I could relax. I enjoyed the rest of the day.
This evening I've been talking to a friend. He was a good friend. He's very confusing. How he's been the past month or so... well, I miss how it was before. I would love for our relationship to go back to how it was, round the beginning of May. Tonight he spoke to me for quite a while, which is unusual lately. Our conversation has made me think a lot about friendships, and losing people, and how we live life. I have some good friends right now, and I think I should still value him in that group. I'm not going to give up on having him return to our group. I have so many things to say to him, many questions to ask, and I can just hope one of them will make him think, and see all this change has done has hurt some of the people that care for him most. As for losing people... I've lost lots of people I've been close to at times in my life. One was the entire group I lost just this year. I barely miss them one bit. It was a terrible lifestyle. I am glad to have moved on from that. I'm sure living life in a better way now. However, some people we lose we can't seem to let go of. I lost a friend almost two years ago, and still think of him, almost everyday. I wonder what he's doing now, and wonder if he ever thinks of me.
So now I'll go off again, back to my own world of thoughts. I'm trying to think positively, but of course there's the sad sides. The friend I lost years ago, and the friendship I'm trying to cling to now.

Life In A Hectic Mind

I figure I haven't posted since after Sheilah Winn weekend... I just haven't felt much like blogging, really. A fair amount has happened, though. After that weekend, well, most of the next week was spent recovering. I was simply exhausted. Now that it's done the drama has calmed a little, but is still keeping up a major appearance in my schedule. There's HaBYT, which we're about to start filming scenes of a play for, and then I have NCEA drama to think about, which includes two hour rehearsals after school on monday, which I am now following straight by a salsa class, which is great fun. The rehearsals drag on. There's a lot of sitting around. It's not like the Sheilah Winn rehearsals. Those four hour rehearsals went faster than these two hours. At Sheilah Winn we were all involved, all the time. In Our Town there are three acts, and in some you may have two lines, then just sit for the rest of the time. Just sitting, whilst other people are having their scenes blocked.
Just sitting isn't that good for me lately, I guess. I have a lot to think about, and they're things I don't mind being distracted from. There's still that friend who I'm worried about. He's avoiding me, and that hurts. Each small conversation I have with him gives me something fresh to think about, a new worry or confusion. Alongside that I have come to find that, not for the first time, I am hurting someone. Just by being me. My friend apparently likes me. If I give him a hug, I can see he's sad... He wants more, but I just love him dearly as a friend. And other than those two, drama creeps into my mind all the time, as well as the normal things. Missing old friends, how things are with current friends...
Right now I should be on the bus, and almost at school. But instead I'm sitting in my bed, typing this. It's bad, I know, but I was supposed to head to town to do some work for a class, and then when I couldn't make it my group fell apart and now no one is going. We are so far behind right now; it's awful. So rather than go and spend a lesson with them at school, and face my least favourite class right after it, I decided to spend an extra couple of hours at home. I can make this time productive, of course. Once I'm done with this I'll see what my classes for the rest of the day are, and make sure anything I should have done last night is done for them. That's bad too... I keep on saying I'll do my homework, and keep on top of things. Then going to see a friend, or pointless quizzes on facebook, seem more appealing.
I think there's one final thing I'd like to mention, and that is photography. I'd had a horrible dry spell in photography, and hadn't really taken anything at all, but now I'm well on the way to having more photographs. The way photoshoots have happened lately is I meet with Kyla, and we take turns modelling and behind the camera. Since we can borrow her mum's camera which is far better than mine we both use that. There's the problem. Our pictures are mixed together. Anyone else who is with us wants a turn. It's hard to tell who took which photos. It's ok to get my editing work up, but I really think I should start shooting on my own camera again, even if it's not so good as the D200. Next shoot I plan to do that. Then my Flickr might see some work again.
Ok, it's time to get ready, then see what I can tackle with homework until I want to get to school.

Life In Doing

Sheilah Winn. Over the weekend we went to perform at the national festival. We had an amazing time and did our best performance ever. We truly nailed it. We all learnt a lot from the whole experience and it came to a wonderful close. After a busy time, with rehearsals, workshops, theatre trip, the van breaking down, our performance, a party, and the award ceremony (where our fantastic Jacob took the award for best delivery of text) we spent our Sunday evening just hanging out. The whole group, including Mr Betty. We started with an amazing conversation, with many thanks to Mr Betty and the whole group. We discussed what we learnt over the whole time, about acting, performing, and about each other. We had a few girls in tears, and a few guys fighting them back. And this random guy sat in the meeting/reading room for this whole time. Watching, listening. He left and we had to mention how strange it was he hadn't left much earlier. Very, very funny.
When done with the emotional stuff we relaxed. Out came monopoly (my team won) and twister (in a short dress, but oh well). The evening was great. All hanging out together, people we all care about, with the performance over, all satisfied with what we had achieved.
I think I can speak for us all when I say we came away from the weekend, and everything we did in preparation for it, with much gain. We have gained brilliant memories, inside jokes and quotes that will continue to give us laughs, along with more acting experience, greater ability to deal with others (seven girls sharing one bedroom, and one bathroom - with very few arguments - amazing achievement), and much, much more.
Sharing the room was very good. The guys had the room next door and it really went very well. We could hear eachother through the very thin wall, which provided plenty of entertainment. There was a little bit of snapping at people to be quiet and go to sleep (no names, Kyla), and a bit of yelling when people took too long in the shower, but we really got on very well.
I could say much more about the weekend, but I really don't need to. It was a fantastic experience and I can't wait to get started on next year's entry.

Life In Procrastination

It would seem I have been procrastinating with a lot of things lately, including making a blog entry. My writing has been more poetry directed over the past couple of weeks, due to some stressful sorts of things going on.
For the whole of last week it seemed everyone was just not having a good time. By the end of the week most of us were exhausted. Between Sheilah Winn, theatre sports and the issues of my friends, I was shattered. Some friends were arguing, some were depressed, one had gone quiet and although it's expected of him I do not enjoy it happening.
The beginning of this week arrived and I had been hoping it would be better. Taking that stress for a second week running would have pushed me over. Monday, things got worse. Friend that had gone quiet was not talking to me, and I really didn't know why. After a couple of days of digging and trying to make him talk to me I finally got answers out of him. I was then able to demand being able to see him at some point, and although it turned out our lunch times and break times were too busy to really see much of eachother, I did get some time after a careers expo trip when he had a free period, and texting is a fair compromise too.
With the being ignored, in a very icy manner, over, I was able to cheer up a bit. I am still fairly stressed, though. Next week there are mock exams, which I haven't studied for, and don't really have time to study for, so I will just be hoping for the best. Also next week every one of my lunchtimes will be consumed by Sheilah Winn, along with Tuesday evening. Then after all that, it's a 5am start to head to Wellington Friday morning, for the national festival over the weekend. This thought makes me excited and nervous but I'm sure the weekend will be amazing fun, particularly seeing some NYDS folks, and shopping.
More stress comes through enterprise work and class drama. Very time consuming subjects. Time which I do not have. Nuts, but I will survive, pulling out the brief times I have to browse Facebook and write to my dear blog.
I think that is a suitable update. Time for Facebook.

Life In Uncertainty

I've been a little confused lately. With all this love around, I'm feeling like I want to trip... Infact I'm feeling poetic.

When you want to trip,
Feel like you want to fall,
Who is it going to catch you,
Save you from all,
All in your mind,
Which is slipping from your grip,
Losing yourself this day,
At the end of your own finger tips,
Contemplation comes and goes,
Confusion set deep,
Flying up, falling down,
Crashing, wanting to weep.

There. That sorta sums it up. It's not everything, though. I don't know. My thoughts are full of confusion which you will make no sense of, so I'll give up on this.

Life In The Eye of The Storm

Right, this was written a couple of days ago in study, finally getting to typing it, so yes, I am slack with updates.

"It seems I've found a moment of calm. I've run out of work to do in study, and possibly due to the very beautiful song that just played (Never Saw Blue - Hayley Westenra) I feel rather calm. However, the way things are lately, and knowing my near future is busy, there is an edgy feeling to this calm, telling me it won't last long.
Apparently I'm slacking on my blog, since Vicky tells me I need to update, and we know how often she does that! I'm thinking the only important thing that's happened since I last posted is the ball. It was fantastic. I had to work the day of it, but my supervisor was lovely and let me leave early, so I had plenty of time to be ready. I went to a pre-ball at my friend Charlotte's house, which we took photos of everyone at, and we all scrub up pretty good. Then it was time to go. "Got ticket, got ID, got girl." I said, pulling Kyla up to me. "Hey, why don't I have a girl?" Uta complained, so I took Kyla over to him, we took an arm each and said, "Here, have two." That led to spending the night as a three. Sorry, Vicky. I was a slack date.
After the ball the three of us headed back to Nick's with him."
That's as far as time allowed me to get, so to round off the story.
We stayed up all night, and by morning when Allison (Nick's mother) gave us breakfast, Uta looked like a zombie, and Kyla and I were still totally energetic. I then spent Sunday with Kyla. All in all, a brilliant weekend.

Now, a short post which ought to be what I'm up to now, if I hadn't taken so long getting that up.
Life In Lovelessness
Everyone has crushes at the moment! Except me, it seems. I don't mind terribly, and it is rather cute hearing all about other people's likes, and not telling the people that constantly pester me to know. I do feel a little lonely and loveless, though. Oh well.

Monday - Stage combat in the morning, then Shakespeare in the afternoon. Evening show was an ace performance of Assasins.
Tuesday - Stage combat, then script. Evening off. Aaah.
Wednesday - Stage combat, and Shakespeare. Tutor's evening, which was greatly entertaining.
Thursday - Stage combat, and script again. For script we took a drive out to ocean beach to perform our scenes. This was fun. In the evening it was student's night. This was also fun.
Friday - exhausting full on day of stage combat rehearsals, with tech rehearsal. The evening was the first sharing of work. Reegan with only a guitar for modesty. Breath, ladies.
Saturday - more full on. Heaps of rehearsing and being told a heap of garbage by admin because they seem to think we are all entirely incapable of anything. It was a fun day, but we weren't allowed to watch the show before and after our piece. This is a huge black mark on my week, and really brings down how good the week was. So, we partied on after the show until gone 1am. No wonder I am exhausted.
Today we headed back to school for the final sharing of work. People cried. People left. I am sad. I am exhausted. This blog will hold no interest to anyone. I have written nothing interesting. I am far too tired to be interesting.

Life In Drama School

First full day of NYDS. It was exhausting, full on, fun, extreme, hilarious... any number of cool adjectives.
But first I think I shall update on all the time I have been slack.
Wednesday - I had school. I did the catering at the final night of the show. When I got home I made a cake, finished around midnight, went to bed.
Thursday - last day of school. It was a pretty chilled day. It was Kris's birthday, hence the cake. We had an awesome time, and my cake was complimented. After school I just headed home, relaxed.
Friday - I spent the whole day at home, just relaxing. Really taking a break. I did a jigsaw puzzle, and played oldschool PS games. Bit of Crash Bandicoot and Scooby Doo.
Saturday - Work, then to the NYDS opening ceremony. We were introduced to our tutors and home group classes. Then I met my billet and we came home. My billet is Mia. She seems pretty cool, we are getting on fine. It's a good relationship, I call her a bitch, she tells me not to be mean. It works well.
Today. Right into stage combat. It is great fun, but physical and tiring. I have made some fabulous new friends. Louis, he's my gay guy. Kat, my bisexual boob-grabbing cool chick. We are fairly sure she grabbed my boobs, on camera. We were dancing, at the evening event today, which was a band from Wellington. They were pretty good, and we all had fun dancing crazily, and acting lesbian to get the guys going =O!
I did have one bad thing into the day. Some people I used to be friends with are apparently bitching about me "behind my back" through bebo comments. I am rather pleased I have moved on from that group. They seem to be having misconceptions about me though. Apparently I don't have any friends now (cry cry). What a shame.
Now I am back to a happy high-on-life, chatting to one of my "cyber friends" as they put it, disapprovingly, but in any case, he manages to be a better friend from halfway across the world than they ever could be living in the same town as someone. Oh, the flattery. I'll try not to direct him here, he'll get a big head.
Anyway, I have another full on day ahead of me tomorrow, so best get my sleep.
I will try to keep up this week, but looks busy ahead.

Life In Expense

My life is expensive. On Monday I went shopping with a few friends.
Bus fares - $4
Lunch (Subway) - $8.70
Coffee (Starbucks) - $7.40
Gloves - $12.99
Eyeshadow - $18.99
Total - $52.08
In a whole day shopping, that's nothing. There really wasn't much to be buying. I was primarily looking for a ball dress, I didn't find one I liked for less than the one I had my eye on. Which brings us to Tuesday.
Total - $540
Dress - $540
Earrings - free.
There is also the fact of owing my mother ~$700.
Fine - $333
iPod - $329 (I think)
Jewellery - $40
I then have Sydney, which after parents kindly paying for my flight and accomodation I will have to pay for the shows we see, food, and transport while I'm there. Estimate $1000.
Since we won Sheilah Winn and have to compete in the nationals in Wellington, I have another trips costs to cover. Have not yet negotiated on how much parents will contribute, but estimate my costs at $200.
I also have National Youth Drama School next week, which I'll be paying for a lot of take out food throughout. Estimate $100.
There is the possibilty of some of my ball dress being paid by my mother, so I will owe her however much she won't pay for. I'll estimate at $400 for myself right now.
Sub total - $2452.08
Minus what I already paid, which is only that day shopping.
Final total - $2400
I do not have that much money. Time to save, I think. although the world of wasting money is very tempting, I shall now be rather frugal, on occasions other than those two trips I'm budgeting for, and food through NYDS.
On the point of NYDS, I can't wait for it, but I also can't wait for the break the week after it. By going to drama school I'm instantly losing one week of my two week school holiday. I've been pretty busy lately, I really see myself needing the break.
Now I have to go get an early dinner, before heading out - fundraising for Sydney.
I see this entire year being very busy. Bring on the exhaustion.

Life In Why-Am-I-Doing-This-And-Not-Sleeping.

And the answer to that question is... I haven't been home since yesterday morning when I left for work so I felt the need for an update so as not to abuse this reader-lacking blog.
So. It's been pretty good, all that time, since I last updated, which was of course after that great win on Thursday. Friday was fairly average, with school and stuff. After school I went to a friend's house and we totally had fun, so you're probably jealous. Then I had to return to school to cater for the production in fundraising efforts for Sydney. This was pretty amusing and fun at most stages. Although a certain friend who is male but PMSes worse than anyone I know did annoy the Hell out of me. As he did the next day, and today, as well.
After we were done there I came home, and being pretty exhausted I slept. Yesterday I had work, which was alright, except for the stinking bitch that was covering for one of my work mates. Then there was my supervisor, making jokes about my non-existant sex life. Ahh, what a loveable arsehole he is.
The evening again brought catering for fundraising. Rather amusing. Somehow we ended up talking about microwaving cats and flies (please don't, that is definitely animal cruelty), and weird and dodgy porn. Afterwards we headed back to Charlotte's and hung out for a bit, watching Nick play a pretty amusing game, which had smart cars! For this time he was being an arsehole to me, in an utterly offensive way. Thankfully there was a male with some respect for females there, who, whether he was trying to or not (I'm not sure), kept me happy enough to not beat the shit out of the dickhead.
Today was pretty random and fun. Saw some people I haven't done in a while, although not the people I was planning to see. I still haven't caught up with Barry, so I don't feel entirely accomplished which annoys me. Anyway, we went to see Confessions of a Shopoholic. Dragged Martin along. Guys totally love chick flicks, right? Haha. I did apologise for what we were doing to him before we went in. =]
Oh well. This is possibly the most boring and rambling post I've made, so I am going to shut up now.

Life In Ecstacy

To truly scream with excitement, is truly a wonderful thing.
We are going to Wellington! We won regional best 15 minutes piece, so we are off to the nationals! My whole day has gone rather wonderfully.
I am loving the dictionary definitions for ecstacy, which I looked up to check my spelling.

1.	rapturous delight.

2.	an overpowering emotion or exaltation; a state of sudden, intense feeling.

3.	the frenzy of poetic inspiration.

4.	mental transport or rapture from the contemplation of divine things.

I must say, this is a rapturous delight. We all performed so well, and it was definitely delightful! As we began to yell and scream, exaltation certainly describes the feeling in the air. It was a sudden, intense feeling. In this frenzy I feel poetic. The thought of winning was a contemplation of divine things, and it happened!

So, in ecstacy, was a perfect choice of title for this blog of a quite wonderful night. =D!

Life In Use

We all use people. Whether it is right or wrong is determined by the reasons for which we use them.
I was just thinking, "I'm kinda unfair to Louis... I speak to him because he amuses me and makes me feel wanted." I then realised that that is a fine reason to use someone. I enjoy talking to him. And my guess is he enjoys talking to me too. Interdependence. Wonderful concept.
Of course there are those people we use for the wrong reasons, but wonderfully I don't think I have any people like that around me for now. I enjoy the company of everyone I spend time with.
The concept of "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" works both ways. People tend to take that as not realising how good something is until you lose it. A friendship, a job, your school... But it also works with losing bad things. Realising you have an allergy, perhaps, and not realising how bad you felt until cutting the allergen out of your life. Or, in my current situation. A bad crowd. I loved the group of friends I had until recently, I really enjoyed hanging around with them. My social life was amazing, but not entirely healthy. Now I am not spending time with that group anymore, I realise how bad the lifestyle they lead is, and as a part of it I didn't notice. It was fun, so I miss it, but I think I'm happier now. There are still things missing, of course, we all have wants, but even with my dead social life and lack of alcoholic consumption (ok, I am missing bad bits...) I'm feeling pretty damn good lately.
As one door closes, many more will open. I now feel more open to spending more time with my other friends. Maybe when Sheila Win is over I'll be able to do that. Performance thursday. I'm sure to feel some pre-performance nerves, but I know that I am confident with these scenes, and we can make this great. Our rehearsals were brilliant today, and the pieces improved multiple times throughout the afternoon. Ready to rock. =D
I'll explain the connection of my thoughts, from using people, to the bad crowd. I was using a "friend" in that group. I was friends with her because it was her place we were free to go to whenever we wanted, to drink at... But I didn't really enjoy being around her. Not using her anymore does mean the loss of the friends I had in that group, but the way things have turned out now, perhaps they weren't such good friends afterall.
Anyway, I shall stop rambling, this is becoming aimless. Farewell.

Life In Theatrical Motion

"The play starts with the three witches, deciding their next meeting will be with Macbeth..." The third witch wrote the time and location of the meeting on the minutes and declared the current meeting officially closed...
It would seem drama and enterprise are taking over my life, although come 8pm on this fine sunday, I thought, "Oh shit, I probably have homework due tomorrow." I checked my diary and found I only needed to do some drama portfolio work, so began to write out a summary of Macbeth for part of my research, only to find myself thinking amusing thoughts about the witches keeping minutes of their meetings. Oh, dear brain.
I'm doing a scene from A Midsummer Night's Dream for my class assessment of our Shakespeare unit, but we are required to have a fair amount of research, so I'm researching Macbeth as well. I've studied Macbeth countless times, so it's a damn good thing I like the play. As well as taking drama as a class, I'm full of the extra-curricular drama, so I'm involved in a Shakespeare festival, and am going to be a bag of nerves come Thursday when we perform in front of people. Performing Macbeth. Oh, how that play stalks me.
It's really been great fun rehearsing for the festival, and I think our piece is going to go really well. Our four hour Tuesday evening rehearsals have been one of the best parts of my past few weeks. They're truely hilarious. I'd say you'd kind of have to be there to understand, but you're probably Vicky, so, you kinda are there, anyway, oh fellow pubic hair. Issue there, with set looking like a penis...
I best stop rambling here, and get on with that Macbeth summary.
-exuent-

Life In Darkness

Earth Hour!
Here in NZ Earth Hour has just finished. There's a great feeling to doing things by candle light, and it smells nice too. I also found endless opportunites for photos using candles tonight. My creativity seems to be returning. I'm still going by candle light, just because I'm quite enjoying the change. The house feels peaceful in this light, so all aspects of this seem to be positive for me. Here's to helping the world. =]

Link to my flickr to see my earth hour photos: www.flickr.com/shiningmemory