Life In Pain

From scraped knees, to loss of life, to not getting a text from someone all day, or a spoiled lemon meringue pie, we have all been affected by pain. We experience pain, we watch pain as it happens to others, and share the pain of those we care about. Everyday, pain is in our lives. It is of course balanced by many good things, and accompanied by other bad things. I don't want to seem too negative, but the topic of this post essentially is pain, and a bit of disappointment, and despair.
It's been a week since I posted, so I'm going to think over the pain of the week that has passed.
When I last posted I was in a huge amount of emotional pain. I broke down over everything. Over the weekend things got a little brighter. I worked on saturday, then went to Connor's house. He has the most amazing house, which happens to have a climbing wall, fireman pole and slide in the front room. We had some great fun pole dancing. I insist, it is not slutty. It is fantastic exercise. The next day I felt the pain from this workout in my shoulders, as I worked again. After work Kyla and I went to see Abe. He spent most of the time sleeping, but that wasn't so bad. He's cute when he's asleep, and can't say anything offensive.
Monday was uneventful. Tuesday saw me being directed around for a photoshoot, as I agreed to model for Kyla's photography coursework.
Wednesday marked a month of my relationship with Abe, and me being hurt again. I feel like I may be overreacting, but he didn't seem very willing to be texting me, and when I texted to see if he would be able to keep me company in the few hours I had free he just didn't reply. I don't mind being told no, he's busy. I do mind being ignored. So, I spent that time at home reading instead, feeling pretty rejected. Then I went out to support Tiho, going to the fundraising concert at school. It was a great evening seeing the teachers, and students play. They're all so talented. I left with my spirits raised, feeling good and inspired.
However, Thursday was to leave me down again. Hadn't seen Abe since monday, which wouldn't have bothered me if he hadn't seemed so distant texting me. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Thankfully we arranged to meet in the small space between me finishing school and him starting work on friday.
I didn't have the best day on friday. Through school my classes were either uneventful, or in the case of enterprise stressful, and biology sickening. I was in such a foul mood at lunchtime I didn't really want to be around people, so just buried myself in a book with my ipod to block some of the noise. Leaving school I was thankful to meet someone I could happily walk with. After worm dissection, which I don't even want to get started on my opinion of, I felt so damn awful, but still knew my day would get worse. As we walked we didn't need to talk, the company was enough, but we chatted anyway. We had a really interesting discussion, and he walked all the way to the village with me. Unless he was working he went out of his way, which was nice. As I felt, it did get worse. I got a text to say that my ent partner had screwed up again. No surpirses there. Another problem which I would have to fix, and did, after seeing Abe was done with. I got to Abe's feeling slightly awkward. After the tension all week I didn't know what to expect. He didn't say anything though. He just hugged me, and we chatted about general things. Then he managed to upset me. I was really hurt by something he said, although he certainly didn't mean to hurt me. That was apologised for and forgiven, but there's still the other issue. I'm sure something isn't right, and I'm worried it is something to do with me. I wish he'd talk to me, but as it is I haven't heard from him all day. There is a certain pain to not getting a text all day, when that one text would make all the difference.
Another pain I felt today came from the pain of another. My parents went to dinner at a friend's house, and their contribution was to be desert. Mum made bread and butter pudding and lemon meringue pie. The pie took her a long time and turned out wonderfully, but then as she sat it down after removing it from the oven, the glove slipped, and a section of the crust was pushed back. I certainly know the awful feeling that comes from ruined baking after having spent so long on it, and this really was one of those moments. Mum looked shattered. Really, the pie was still intact, and everyone would enjoy it just the same, but she was clearly upset. I hurt for her. It seems like a trivial thing... but hey, the little things matter most.