Life In Highs and Lows

The week that has passed... well. Plenty happened. It was from pain to more pain. My fears all came true on sunday night. As much as I had been telling myself that he wouldn't cheat and the fear was empty, I was so so wrong. Everything fell apart as he broke up with me and I proceeded to take an hour to myself, to cry my way through an entire box of tissues. Nothing seemed good that night. I was devestated. I was shocked. I still am. I don't trust people easily, and I thought that he'd be a good person to test my trust on. I don't want to never trust anyone, so I let myself trust him, and I was just harshly reminded of why I don't trust people. Being betrayed hurts so much.
On monday people gradually found out. A few by saying things like how his little brother has his smile, without realising we'd broken up, then awkwardly being told by someone else standing with us what happened. It wasn't what they said that hurt, though. It was looking at his little brother, and seeing his smile there, because it is true. They share a smile. His brother is just as angry at him as I am, though. I am sure I'd have spent this week crying in my room if my friends weren't so great. Plenty of them have let him know how angry they are about what a jerk he was, and they've all been around to keep my spirits up. Even people I'm not very close to have been leaving me messages making sure I'm alright. Yesterday I went shopping, which really helped. Nothing like a bit of retail therapy, especially with Charlotte as a shopping buddy. Yesterday evening I managed to get myself really happy. Things like break ups make you appreciate your friends more, and I guess I was happy mine came through so well when it mattered.
Today I had work, and I actually looked forward to it as I knew that another good friend would be there to keep my spirits up. My work mates really are awesome. See, Scott and I usually spend our days making your face jokes about each other and various people's mums... So, I got round to letting my work mates know about the break up, and they were suitabley sympathetic. A while after I told them Scott said, "You know what's awful?" I made the stock answer, "Your face?" he ignored my joke and said, "No. Your ex." he was obviously thinking about how shit what happened was. That made me happy. It's good to know you're not alone.
I was meant to go to ocean spa tonight, and until today I wasn't look forward to it, but today I got to be really looking forward to it. Then I texted to check we were still going and my ride was still good.. yes, it was still on, but no, I couldn't get the ride they said I could. So, I am not about to make my parents go all the way to napier for me again and I am spending the evening home instead, trying to not feel like I'm missing out. That knocked me down again, though. Yesterday I was told that yes I had a ride. This is after being convinced I wanted to go, because it was meant to be a "couples" kinda night, planned before the stupid break up. I wasn't so keen on going as a single, but I was persuaded. My friend really wanted me there, so she said, but she can't have been that bothered since she apparently can't give me the ride which she said she could yesterday. I feel pretty shit again. I know it's stupid. One night's plans falling through doesn't change the fact of how awesome my friends are or anything... but I just can't seem to shift my bad mood. It's really awful. I feel alone, though I know I'm not. I don't like a lot of what has happened lately. I hope things will look up soon. I feel like I'm babbling, so I'll stop, and continue on an evening of feeling sorry for myself, because I don't feel like doing much else anymore.