Life In Individuality

This actually happened a week or two ago, just before I lost that single status, infact. I had a real empowered kind of feeling. I feel like an echo of Vicky. A very slow echo, though. I had a strong feeling of not needing anyone, like I could do anything if I put my mind to it. If I really wanted it. Of course, then I took on a relationship. I have someone there to lean on, which is good, because that great individual strength feeling left fairly fast. Of course, I still feel I can do the things I really want. I just lost the part where I can do it alone. I want friends, family and the boyfriend around to help.
So. The boyfriend. Still going well, I guess. I have my fears, as usual. I don't trust people, which is a bit of a bitch when your boyfriend works in a bar, goes drinking after work, and has lots of friends that are girls. That means I am working really hard to not become all possessive and feel like I'm keeping a check on him all the time. I've had to make myself stop a few times, breathe and tell myself it's ok, and he wouldn't do that. He's too scared he'll hurt me to do that, but I'm too scared of being hurt to just forget my fears. I'm doing a good job though. This is the first time I've voiced them, just to get my thoughts clear. Right now, I'm really not so worried.
I just emailed my ex-best friend. It was an on impulse email. Just like the one I emailed an old good friend last week. I just need to update on a few things, which I guess is why I wanted to let those people that meant a lot to me what I'm doing these days. I sort of hope the one I emailed tonight will take up chatting with me again. He hasn't yet gotten over how angry I got at him for something he did a while back, but that's in the past, and I'd like it if we could move on.
Now, I better wrap the boyfriend's birthday present, because I sure won't have time to in the morning.