Life In The Game

Yes, I just lost the game, and I apologise, because now you have lost the game too. This week I have lost the game everyday, and I am now at a point where a friend/aquaintance of mine doesn't even have to say anything to me, I just lose the game as soon as I see him. Each day this week, upon seeing me, he would say, "Hey, Lara... you just lost the game." Frustrating, slightly... something to blog about? Not really. It's not like I've done anything exciting... no wrestling crocs type action. I really must agree with Vicky on the latest blogging. I must also say I like her new focus. It's a bit of a coincidence really, just a couple of days ago I was thinking about things I've learnt. Looks like I'm not the only one. Today I learnt that there won't always be someone there making sure you get things done. With some things you just have to drive yourself. Of course I knew that before, it just really kicked in today.
In one week we will be half way through our Sydney trip. I'm getting quite excited. I haven't left NZ since I got here way back in August 2006, so it will be nice to get a change of air again. And Aussie air is just fantastic for that. I am realyl planning a big shop, but slightly worried about suitcase space. I shall definitely have to be packing early, perhaps starting tomorrow, to make sure I'm going to have everything I need to take with room to bring more back.
This week another thing has happened, which possibly interests no one but myself and one other. My friend who had been avoiding us has begun to join us at lunch times again. I'm not exactly sure why, or what brought about the decision to come back, but I like it. I really hope it lasts, because now I'm adjusting to him being around again it will only hurt if he leaves again, and I don't need any more hurt. Today I was told my crush, who has liked me for a long time, has a crush on somebody else. I always knew he's a flirt, but that's all harmless. It makes things a bit more confusing to hear he actually likes someone else, though. Where does it leave us? I couldn't bear to be feeling second best, or just not good enough, if I were to let myself keep getting closer to him... but it's going to be hard to pull away again. I suppose I should go for communication and tell him what I've heard, but what's to say he won't lie. I've been lied to plenty before. I'm not ready to be hurt again, but I think it's too late. I am definitely reinforcing the fact that I do NOT trust people.