Saturday, February 27, 2010

Life In Lies

This morning I woke up feeling positive and refreshed. Despite being at work, I felt good. I was happy, back to myself. But as the day drew on my mood plummeted. Feels a lot like I've been putting on a face. Acting like I'm ok, when I'm really not. It's like I should be wanting to do all I can, not wanting days to end, but all week I've just looked forward to going back to sleep. Escaping. Not having to think. About anything. Sadly that means I've been getting more than enough sleep so now I'm simply not tired. I can't sleep, although I have work in the morning and I. Do. No. Want. To. Think.
Tough shit. I have to. There's no point avoiding it, but who wants to face the fact that they aren't happy? Even though I did feel happy today, now it feels like I was lying to myself. And that is brutal honesty. I can't straighten anything else out enough to write it, so I guess I just have to go face my thoughts until I fall asleep.

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