I'm terrified.

Today it really hit me... just how scared I am to be hurt again. I don't want to distrust D, but it is so hard to trust when I've been betrayed so much before. My fear really sparked when he mentioned that this girl, J, was texting him, upset that he didn't go see her on saturday. Saturday was the second time he bailed on seeing her, because he changed his plans to see me instead. Twice he chose me over her, so why should I worry? I probably shouldn't... but I am so scared. I practically feel sick. What if he changes his mind, decides he is interested in her? Then what about me... left to cry away the pain again. He told me that she was texting him though. Does that mean I'm safe? If he was going to go after her, he wouldn't mention her to me, would he? I feel awful. I want to trust him but I can't help but wonder, what's he doing right now?
I don't want to be hurt again. Please let him not hurt me.