Generic Moan

I just looked in the mirror, and I was surprised. Surprised to see myself there, looking pulled together, composed, and healthy. I feel so ill. I can't believe I look ok. I'm stressed. I've never had to do this before. Today I drove myself to town, and I did my own food shopping. That's new. And that's ok. I like the fact that I can buy the things I want, and nothing else. Today I did my own laundry. And that's ok. I know how to do it, and I don't mind doing it. It's just that it's all new. I think it's a good experience. It will give me some idea of what it will be like moving out.
Just looking in the mirror, seeing myself looking better than I feel... no wonder I'm good at acting like everything's ok. Honestly, when I said goodbye to my parents, knowing I wouldn't see them for a month, I cried. I had been looking forward to having the month to myself. A bit of a break. But then right on the day I just realised I'm going to miss them. And what break? I'm one person, and this is a five bedroom house. Feeding the cat I can deal with. But I am sure not looking forward to the part where I have to keep the house clean.
Anyway now I feel like I'm whinging about nothing, because of course my life is actually pretty cruisey. I just need to shake off this cold and keep going. I just wish it would go away quick enough for me to party tomorrow night. Chances of that feel small right now.