Find Some Time

Right now I feel as though life is about to get hectic again. Next week I'm busy almost every night. I just know I'll be exhausted by next sunday, then have to launch myself more fully into school and scholarship work as HaBYT will be behind me so I won't have that taking up time I don't really have.
And with the matter of time I don't have, it's more time I have but by the time I have it I'm too worn out to do anything productive. So another thing I want to time and energy for... exercise. I'm honest about a lot in my blog, but I do leave some things out. I leave my most private thoughts, well, private. They stay in my head. But I don't think I've ever honestly said how much I hate the fact I'm unfit. I've definitely gained weight recently and I hate it. Somedays I feel comfortable and happy with my body, but other days, like today, I hate it. I also hate people who don't do anything about their problems, so, I'm going to. I eat junk food too much, and don't exercise enough. Time to turn the tables. As soon as I have the time and energy to go for a run.

Just another rant.

Dad's favourite game: pissing people off.
Level: becoming Kiwi.
Overview: chose something to make comments about which is likely to annoy someone at each level.
So, level becoming Kiwi is making comments about taking classes or having operations to make you Kiwi. It's a bit of an ongoing joke in the family that Kiwis tend to be a bit slow on the uptake with jokes and the such. So dad seems to think it's a good idea to tell me things like it's a shame I'm not going back to England for a month with them, as I need to get my brain back up to speed. Then he stands there like he expects me to answer him, so perhaps if anyone has had the op, it is him.
No offense Kiwis. We are joking. It's just a few dimwitted folk here giving the rest of you a bad name, we know that.

In other news, I made a hair appointment. I'm getting a full head of foils, blonde. I've been wanting that for quite a while so I'm looking forward to it. Then, after the ball, I'm seriously considering putting purple underneath. Maybe just a wash out, but if I really like it I'll get a long lasting one in. Bring on new hair.

A Nothing Time

I feel very uncreative. I wouldn't mind killing some time writing a poem or two. But I just can't face it. I just have the feeling anything I write right now will not be worth writing at all. I feel pretty unsure in general really. I'm split between lots of feelings, and somehow in my mind right now it all boils down to nothing. I'm really looking forward to next year, but also a little scared as I don't quite know how I'll manage. I know it's going to cost a lot for uni and accomodation, and I'll want to do things like go to the theatre on top of that. I can't imagine how I'll be able to afford it. Especially since I want my time back in England over summer, which means foregoing the summer job. Surely it will all work out though. But not without me figuring out how. And right now I don't want to do that. I don't want to do the school work that I need to, to get the grades and make sure I get to do what I want next year. I don't want to do anything. It's just one of those nothing feelings. A nothing evening. I think I'll let it stay that way. Just chat on msn, maybe phone a friend, and worry about school, internals, money, next year... tomorrow.

Don't you hate it when...

Don't you hate it when, you try to tell someone something because you think it's fair for them to know and it might change their mind about something because of it, and then it just turns into a weird kind of argument, with them getting defensive and acting as though you're just trying to ruin things? Ok... so maybe that's not an everyday "don't you hte it when..." situation. But it happened, and it's really stupid. I tried to tell a girl some things about a guy she likes. I don't think he should be dating anyone because of particular things. Not now, something needs to change before he's relationship material. She got really defensive and was all, "But I do like him! And I don't care!" And now I think she's mad at me, which is sad since I do get on with her. I really hope she moves on from this guy first. She doesn't need to be another in his line of stupid weird relationships that shouldn't have ever started.
There's angry rant one done. How about another?
Don't you hate it when, someone is basically obsessed with you, but you get on with them as a friend so you still hang out and party together... And you just have to keep on making them back off a bit, keep distance when sitting next to each other or dancing... And then because there aren't huge numbers of beds three people, including you and this obsessed guy, end up in a double bed together. So I made sure my other friend was inbetween us, because I'm utterly comfortable around him. But then Obsessoman keeps doing things like putting his arm across my friend so he's touching me. I kept pushing him off of me but he just wouldn't get the picture, so I was all, "Can you keep your hands back? They're kinda annoying there." And I think he was pretty cut by that but still didn't really get the message. He is so pushy. For ages it's all fine, and he won't be bothering me. Then there will be a night like that one and I feel gross and kind of how I would if I were being stalked and I just want to get away from him and not see him. And yes, he's the one I tried to warn the poor girl in the story above about. Don't you all agree, he should not be dating anyone, until he loses that Obsessoman suit.

What do I do now?

With NYDS finished for another year, I'm left to occupy myself for this week. Of course I have much that needs doing, but I think I'll allow myself a couple more hours to relax before looking into that. I need to sort out my drama audition and get on with the eco internal. After that I can be more relaxed on work and just catch up on some stats. Another plan is a clear out of my room and putting things I don't want anymore on trade me. Maybe I'll get it all done this week. Maybe not. I just don't quite know how much I want to bother doing.
It's a shame NYDS is over, though I do need the break. I am going to miss everyone so much, but for now I'm alright. I think once I'm over how exhausting the week was I'll get on to missing the whole thing a bit more. But for now, rest.

The Little Irritations in Life

Now I realise why it is that I usually sit and watch TV in this room, the smaller less comfy room, smaller TV... It's because usually I have the room to myself. No dad. No brother. Now I realise why I don't watch TV with my father. He's almost unbearably irritating. He makes stupid comments about the movie. Very annoying. And my brother coming in is possibly more irritating. He makes stupid comments about anything and everything, not just what I'm trying to watch on the TV. But I do love Bridget Jones. So rant over, back to movie.